The Keeper of the Island

   I hung up my "Savior or Needing to Save" cloak a while ago, but I find myself sometimes struggling to see that I really can rest be at peace while another person I love is finding their own way. Jesus gave me this picture while I was journaling about this familiar feeling that I have come to realize is so unhealthy for me and I wanted to share.

The Island of Peace 

With my boat safely docked in the harbor, I found this new beautiful island a place of safety and rest from the storm that seemed always to be brewing around me. Skipping with great delight, I looked at the beautiful sign "Peace" that was held high over the island I now called home. I loved the name of my island and even more loved the One who gifted me with this beautiful sign. 

My boat had been docked for a while now and I enjoyed spending my days with the Keeper of the Island more than anything or anyone else. He was so gracious and kind and it seemed as if when I was with Him it was easier for me to be a lot more gracious and the kindness seemed to come so much more naturally with Him by my side.

I thought I'd probably stay here forever. 

Knowing the Keeper of the Island like I did, I asked Him if I would ever be silly enough to ever leave the island. He smiled that smile that He did so often and said, "Your safety rests in me, I hope that you will never leave." I couldn't imagine anyone or anything taking me away from this glorious place and assured Him that I imagined I would never leave this spot, either.

Several weeks passed and as I was sitting in my hammock I had affectionately called, "The Truth," I heard a faint cry in the distance. Panic arose inside of me and I just knew that I was needed immediately. Swimming out to the place where I heard the cry, out of breath and having some trouble keeping myself afloat, I finally caught sight of a boat. It was a pretty boat, I could definitely see the signs of trouble, though and got in the boat as quickly as I could. I grabbed and hugged who I now recognized as someone that was in deep pain and tried to figure out how quickly I could get this boat cleaned up and back running smoothly again.

I shook my head, it was actually worse than I thought. I had left everything back on the island, but used what I had on me to try to patch up the holes in the boat and to be sure to take care of this person who was in pain, too. 

With determination mounting, I just knew that I was up for the task at hand and so badly wanted to help this person to get to their own island of rest. I just knew that they would love it there. So, on and on I went telling them all about the island and how beautiful it was there and about The Keeper of the Island. He was amazing. Just sure that this was what this one in pain would want, I busied myself trying to get the boat in working order. We could set sail by morning, and I knew we could make it there before the sun set on the very next day! It was so close I could feel it!

While I slept that night, I dreamt of what beautiful things the island would hold, what treasures would be found and what Peace awaited there for this one I loved so dearly now. Slowly, I drifted off to sleep and got ready for the day of excitement that lay ahead.

Before I caught a glimpse of the beautiful morning sunrise, I noticed something was strange, the hole that I had fixed last night was open again and the one in pain was up, holding her side using a hammer to tear apart the boat that I had spent so much time on fixing the day before. I went into a bit of panic and tried to talk her out of this. No, this would only bring pain to the boat and eventually to her, why would she continue to destroy the very vessel that was keeping her alive? Leaning over the side I looked to see if the front of the boat had any damage. There I caught a glimpse of the name of the boat. Well, this wasn't her boat at all. How did she get in  here? The words were barely visible, but I could make out the faded words of Self Pity. I sat up and looked around. Floating all around me where similar vessels, Self-hatred, Self-loathing, Self-protection, Self-preservation, Guilt and Blame were just a few and they were all calling her name. 

I sat in despair and for the first time wondered why I hadn't brought the Keeper of the Island with me. He would explain everything, He would compel her to the beautiful island that He had waiting for her. Calling out as loudly as I could I yelled for the One who I knew could help. I knew that I couldn't stay on this ship of self pity long, I had tried similar boats and they didn't get me anywhere I wanted to go and they only took me away from that beautiful island I loved so dearly. 

Oh, the beautiful sight of the Keeper of the Island, He appears almost instantly and I absolutely loved what His presence did all around me. Excitedly, I showed my beautiful pain-filled friend the Keeper of the Island. She wasn't impressed. She said that this was home for her now and she would rather stay out here and weather the storms herself. I looked at the Keeper of the Island in shock and dismay. Tears filled my eyes, begging I said, "But have you seen your island? It must be beautiful and you can walk with Him there and you can talk to Him and He'll never lead you astray! All these voices calling out to you will only bring you into more hurt and self-loathing, wouldn't you rather have Peace, Love and Joy?" With her eyes glazed over, it was as if she wasn't even there, she turned her back and was yelling back at the others who had promised to help her to another one of their vessels. 

My heart sank within me. How can I ever convince someone to come back to the place of Peace and Rest? Slowly, taking me by the hand, the Keeper of the Island told me one must want to go of his or her own free will. He said that He would never force anybody to turn away from their "safety" to be with Him. He said long ago in a garden somewhere far from us, He had decided that somebody wanting to spend their days with Him was much more desirable than trying to convince someone of something that was good or evil for them. 

So, back to The Island of Peace and Rest we went. I looked up at my sign and looked across towards my hammock and asked The Keeper of the Island for one little thing. Please remind me to never leave the safety of my island to save a ship that isn't sure it wants to be saved again. I was sure now, that situation being way over my head, the only person that could really, truly bring saving was The Keeper of the Island, Himself, and even then, the person would have to actually want to be saved by Him.

Unwinding and sitting down, I looked at the beautiful sea and the Peace that I loved so much washed all over me again. Maybe next time I would stay here, on my island and ask The Keeper of the Island to go if I heard a cry and from the shore I would cheer for Him and the hurting one as He brought each one to safety in their own beautiful  way which was far better than I could ever have dreamed for them.