The Armor of God

I was sitting in the corner of a dark, cold and lonely room. My weapons were ready, my sword was drawn and I was waiting for the inevitable attack. What will it be? What will they say? How will I cope? I felt for my knife, rusty but still ready for constant battle. Who or what was coming, I didn't know. It could be anybody or anything, no place could be left unprotected. The shield had grown paper thin and I was worried if the wrong thing hit it, the wound would be fatal. The very thought caused me to shrink back into the background. Thoughts circled around me of past failures and hurtful words and it was almost as if they taunted me waiting to strike again in a new and even more deadly way. Bracing myself for the attack, I was scared, all alone and shivering with fear. I did not think anybody else lived in this prison with me. As a matter of fact, I viewed them as walking outside the prison doors talking to one another, planning their next episode of attack and wounding my frail, weak body yet again. The very thought caused me to check my pockets. I had a few weapons tucked away. I really would rather not use them, but in a last resort sort of situation, I would have to do my worst. 

Tucked away in the secret compartment of my shirt pocket I kept my favorite safety device. It was plastic, worn out and it seemed to me a little useless at this point. The odd thing was that not many people were able to see the worn out parts. They still seemed to believe it was as good as the original. I had my trusty plastic smile.

Darkness surrounded me. Not the kind of darkness that your eyes adjusted to, but rather the kind that seemed to grow thicker and denser as I remained in that place. I heard voices sometimes of others faintly in the distance singing beautiful songs. They sang of Rest, Peace, Light and Freedom. I shook my head. What do those poor souls know about that sort of thing? Perhaps they were born into it? Perhaps they were just meant to be the happy, carefree, inspirational ones. I checked my chest. I was bleeding again. It was as if these thoughts alone brought on the leaking of my wounds.

As I sat there I looked around me. The floor was dirty, the ground was cement and it was icy cold. I figured it didn't much matter anymore. I felt my hands grasp around the large weapon I had saved for the first round and attempted to find rest on the floor covered with even more sludge. It felt as if I would never be clean again. I was sure those beautiful, faint voices that sometimes found their way through the walls were clean. Imagining the beauty that they were surrounded by, I started to drift off into a dream. It was only seconds later when a dart came my direction and I was awakened only to have to pull the arrow out, medicate myself in the only way I knew how and hold my wound until it would stop leaking blood that I was sure that I had no more to lose.

I attempted in a short, feeble, well more of a groan than really anything else, to sing the songs that I had found so soothing to hear. There was a very, deep longing in the deepest part of my chest that I didn't really understand. I spoke the name of Jesus and thought if there was a way out of this, maybe the One I sang about could bring me out. 

I waited. The door opened slowly. I was momentarily blinded. The Light coming from outside my room was absolutely blinding. I clutched for my book of life decisions I held on to. I leafed through quickly trying to find what had been written for me to do. I found the answers to be blurry and almost wondered if they had ever really been written there at all? I grasped my heart. I knew all things good were there and I depended on what I knew to show me the way.

The Presence entered my room just as quickly as that blindingly White Light had barged through my door. I gasped. Why was I having trouble breathing? The weapons I had readied were now lost in that Light and I was searching desperately to find them. The Presence beckoned that I come with it, and leave that dark, cold place behind. I shrunk back. What did The Presence know about life beyond this place? This was safe. I had my weapons here. I had my sword, though dull and rusty, I knew it could cut through a weak prisoner, like me, if needed. The Presence sort of seemed to smile. “Come, follow me. Judgment day is near.” Judgment? That reminded me of the jar to my right. Sometimes I used the stuff in that jar in battle. I would drink the sludgy beverage inside and wait to spew it out at a victim I was trying to take out. But what was this judgment The Presence was speaking about? How did The Presence know about the jar? The Presence seemed to look down and point another way. I was intrigued. I decided to muster all of the strength I had left and began to stand to attempt to follow this Light. Again, laughing and sort of shaking His indefinable head, The Presence scooped me up and as if by just my choice, and no effort on my part, I had gone from darkness to the Brightest Light I had ever seen. The Presence seemed to be named perfectly. I sensed the Peace from The Presence down deep, deeper even than I had felt the pain before. 

I looked around to find that we had entered into a court room setting. I was startled, but The Presence assured me fear was not needed in here.  I had left some of my weapons back at the place of darkness and told The Presence that I would need to go back and pick some of those things up. He assured me I would be safe without those things in this room. For some reason, although I didn't want to, I trusted this Deep, Warm, Inviting Presence. He invited me to sit down and to watch as the session began to start.

The Presence told me that he had summoned those responsible for my wounds and pain and my prisoner of war state. I quickly counted up in my head and shook my head. Nope, those people would certainly not fit in this rather unassuming court room. I looked around the room waiting for the door to open and for that long line of people to enter in. 

Much to my surprise, I familiar looking voice found its way to the seat. At the command of The Presence the voice started talking. I couldn't decide if it was my voice or one that sounded strangely similar to my own. If it wasn't mine, it was a close friend, for sure. Yes! It was that one that taught me how to use my weapons! Why ever would this one be on trial for me? I wished I could stop this whole thing but The Presence seemed so confident, I figured I should hear Him out. That voice had been the one to help me patch up the aching wound on my leg. I reached down, although I couldn't see it, I felt it was leaking again. The voice had promised it would stop. Perhaps I was doing something wrong, the voice was right, I was sure. I trusted the voice to tell me these things. Oh yes! That familiar voice was also the one that showed me where that corner was! I don't think I could have found it without it. The voice also left me with those weapons, grant it, they were old and rather falling apart and mostly didn't seem to do the job, but there was safety in having those since I was in that dark corner. I tuned back in to hear what the voice was saying. I was sure it would explain everything.

The Righteous Wrath of The Presence seemed to almost instantly switch the atmosphere of the room. It was not scary, but deeply intense as He grilled the voice for answers. The voice shrinking back into its seat started saying things I had never heard it say. Things like, "I wanted to destroy her," "I wanted her to die," "I wanted her to believe she was worthless," I was taken aback completely! This was not at all what I was used to hearing from this voice. I had been used to hearing things like, "This is for your good," "Get them before they get you," "Protect yourself or nobody else will," “You are stronger by yourself,” “Don’t trust anybody else…” Come to think of it, I really couldn't see The Presence saying these things to me. Maybe they weren’t correct after all? This sort of blew my mind to even try to comprehend. The Presence told the voice to go and leave me forever. I was starting to see how this might really benefit me, but I wondered who would help "comfort" me in the dark place? The Presence said that in order for the voice to go, I must give up those weapons that it had given to me. I asked the King of Kings which weapons I would have instead. He assured me He had some waiting for me. I wondered if I could take them back to the dark corner with me. I really hoped so. I did not want to be left with nothing in that dark place when The Presence left me. I gasped as I felt the air almost grabbed out of my lungs. The voice had left the room and it was as if I had to gasp for New Air. I filled my lungs up quickly and looked over to The Presence. The Presence was so much clearer now. I wondered why? It was as if I could see the definition of His Character and understood the thoughts in His Deep, Deep Heart. He beckoned me to come with Him. My heart saddened. I knew time would come to an end and I had to go back to that dark place. Slowly, I looked to gather my things and reminded The Presence that I would need some new ones before going home. This time I could see the smile radiate from His face. He shook His head. "Home?" He said. "Follow me." 

And just like that we were in this new and beautiful place. I looked down and gasped. My clothes! What had happened and my, my wounds? Where had they gone? I checked quickly and grabbed my lower leg. Shocked and in awe I realized that wound was gone, too! I instinctively started twirling and dancing in this new beautiful place before stopping and wondering if it was permitted here. I did a quick check around to see if anybody could see me and not only could many Bright Lights see me, but they were joining me! It was as if every time I danced, they danced, too. The whole place seemed to be filled with The Bright Light and Presence that had become my new safety. Oh, I looked at The Presence. “Could I please stay here? Please?”

He smiled with a Love that pierced me to the depths of my new, healthy soul. "Oh, sweet one, I've been waiting for the day that I could bring you to your new home." "This is your new place of rest; won't you stay here with Me?"  My heart leaped out of my newly cleansed and beautifully whole being. "WOULD I?" Oh, this is who I was born to be! "So, no more dark place? No more leaking wounds? No more rusty weapons?" As if on cue, the Bright Lights brought something up that The Presence seemed to call for, without really moving or saying any words, it was as if they knew what was coming already.  It was beautiful and breathtaking and mighty! It was a solid diamond suit of armor with a brilliant sword and a shiny, stunningly gorgeous helmet. The Presence nodded lovingly knowing that I was just longing to step into it. The Bright Lights covered me from head to toe and I stood straighter than I ever had before. The Presence spoke beautifully and powerfully and said, "Without that armor, your dark place will beckon you. Without that armor, new darts will break through, without that armor, hope will fade away and this will not seem real. Without that armor, your rest will be substituted for panic, without that armor, joy will be substituted for pain. Without that armor, the voice will beckon to you again, and you will want to believe it again. However, WITH that armor, your battles will be won. WITH that armor, your safety will rest in my arms. With that armor your pain will be cleansed and washed away and WITH that armor, you will win any battles I will call you to fight." I smiled and laughter started deep in my new, cleansed soul. This is what I had always wanted. I had always wanted to see the face of the Beautiful Presence so defined, I had always wanted to fight the battles that He asked me to fight, and I had always wanted to rest in the safety of His Presence. The Presence heard my soft cries, even in the dark place where the voice had led me astray. He heard my faint, feeble voice calling out, with only the little strength I had left and He came to my rescue. He saved my soul from the depths of the darkness.

Now I don't sit with my hands clenched anymore. The weapons that once were tucked away are no longer needed. I sit in His Kingdom, at His Throne, covered in the beautiful Armor of God and I wait. I dance, I sing, I worship, I rest, I have long discussions with Him and when He calls me to, I stand, raise my beautiful new sword and say, "I am on the side of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and no weapons formed against me will prosper because I am on the side of the one and only Lord Almighty, God of Heaven, and He holds the Key to my heart."