Saturday, October 25, 2014

To The One Who "Let Herself Go."

I read this blog post about a week ago. 

It made me pretty upset...even angry.
 I know one thing for was wrong.
 Since then, my heart has had something to say.

The post said this: 

I know the rut women fall into after having kids and getting comfortable in their marriage. They stop trying to fix themselves up, because they don't want to be selfish. I promise you, that is a bad decision to make. Don't let yourself go, and blame it on being a mom. There are MANY moms that are still fashionable, in shape, and not rich. Don't make excuses for yourself."

I have a few thing to say in response to this:

Women don't "let themselves go."

Women suffer with deep depression after giving birth to still born children.
Women deal with the aftermaths of being sexually abused as children.
Women deal with their mother knowing they were being abused and allowing it.
Women deal with neglect from their fathers. 
Women deal with regret and shame after thinking an abortion 
was a better option, than bringing a child into a world
 that they didn't want to be in themselves.
Women are mistreated.
Women deal with their husbands cheating on them and then decide to try to "move on."
Women deal with memories haunting them from childhood trauma.
Women deal with feeling completely alone in all of this.
Women deal with the death of children and still have to wake up the next day.
Women deal with losing their parents and feeling alone.
Women deal with their bodies aching in pain because of physical abuse that nobody sees.

This just scratches the surface.

There is not a woman on earth that has decided that she felt safe enough to "let herself go..." but rather, she has done her family and herself the favor of still being alive. 
She has not taken her life to avoid the pain she is in. 
She has not given up. She has not walked away from her children. 
She has not mistreated them as she was mistreated. 
She has broken the cycle.

 She has looked at the abuse that was done to her and said, "I want more for my children." 
She has looked at the abandonment in her life and said, 
"I want my children to know I am here." 
She has looked past the flaws of those around her and decided to try to love freely.

So no, she did not "let herself go."

 She is still alive. 

She is still breathing and with that breath comes the opportunity for Jesus to redeem.
 To set things right in her life. 
To give her the strength to deal with the abuse that was done to her. 
To be stronger and better because of it.
 A chance to truly live.

If that doesn't look like how you think it should look, then your view is sadly off.
 Until you sit at the feet of a mother who has lost a child, 
don't you dare judge her on weight that she has gained as she tries to handle her grief.
 Until you look into the eyes of one who has been sexually abused and see the deep pain, don't you dare judge her for not being up on the latest trends like you have managed to be. Until you see beyond the face, the dress, the hair, the make up to see her heart...don't say that you know what "Jesus wants a person to look like." 

You are DEAD wrong.

 What Jesus wants most of all is for that heart, 

that BEAUTIFUL heart,

 to look into His eyes and to see His face



  1. Rebekah, I love you, I love your vision, and I love your heart. Thank you for speaking to me in more ways than you could possibly know. Thank you for writing this.

  2. My eyes are filled with tears That is so well said ,which some has happen to me ,and thank you Jesus for being there for me !!!!!!!!!

  3. Thankyou for speaking up for those who may be unable to speak at this time..