Chapter 5

There is a fountain filled with blood

With Ryan safely tucked away at the workshop I could do what I did best--worry and then pray and then worry and then pray. My girls were taking a nap and I was on my knees praying for Ryan. No, I was not ultra spiritual, just ultra desperate. As I was praying, it was as if my eyes started to see things they had never seen before. This was one of my first clear glimpses of Heaven and it completely changed my life.

I saw this beautiful thing transpire before my eyes:

It was Heaven, I could see Heaven and I've never seen anything so magnificent.

There was a crowd of people cheering for Jesus,

He was making His way down a vast aisle with two little children at His side.

Jesus had something in His hands and was

bringing it to the most breathtaking thing I had ever seen.

It was a fountain of blood.

Now this fountain was so vast, I couldn't see the top or around it.

It was flowing in a sparkling, beautiful way.

Jesus and these two little ones took what Jesus had brought in His hands

and placed it in the fountain.

When I asked what it was, I heard that it was Ryan's heart.

Jesus was placing it there to be cleansed, washed clean and made whole.

It would be there for a while, I wasn't sure how long.

Everyone in Heaven seemed to think that this was a monumental thing and they were praising and singing songs, all different ones at the same time, but it was so harmonious.

Then Jesus gave the order as He turned around.

"Now, go and fight for Ryan's soul."

The two little ones were at the front of the battle with Jesus

but blew kisses to me before they left.

My little angels that I had lost here, were not just safe in Heaven,

they were fighting for our family, in the Heavenly realm.

My heart was exploding. Jesus was taking care of them. They were in the best of hands.

As a huge army in Heaven went to fight on Ryan's behalf, they were chanting,

"Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight"

and just like that, it was like there was an angelic swoop and they were gone.

I sat there in my living room tears streaming down my face,

wondering what in the world I had just seen.

Shortly after that, I was preparing to sing a special in church. A solo, which was not something I had usually done. The very sweet pianist had picked out a very old, dry song for me with a "new" arrangement. I would have preferred a Kari Jobe or Chris Rice song, because those songs were very near to my heart at the time, but she had been the one to choose so I very half-heartily began to sing.

I held Kate (1) in my hands, was watching Jewels (4) run around the platform and like I had done at least 200 times I started to sing the verse of this very old hymn that I knew by heart.

1. There is a fountain filled with blood,
   Drawn from Immanuel’s veins,
   And sinners plunged beneath that flood
   Lose all their guilty stains.
2. The dying thief rejoiced to see
   That fountain in His day;
   And there have I, though vile as he,
   Washed all my sins away.
3. Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
   Shall never lose its pow’r,
   Till all the ransomed church of God
   Are safe, to sin no more.
4. E’er since by faith I saw the stream
   Thy flowing wounds supply,
   Redeeming love has been my theme,
   And shall be till I die.
5. 
   

The rest of the verses I muddled through, but could barely get out the words...E'er since by faith I saw the stream thy flowing wounds supply, redeeming love has been my theme and shall be till I die. The pianist was concerned telling me I should sing louder, but I could barely breathe.

Someone had written about this and had seen this a long time ago. Here I sat decades later singing a song that I had sung a million times and now for the first time, it meant everything to me. The lump in my throat seemed to be taking over and the tears were so hot and stinging in my eyes I didn't know how much longer I could keep them in. She asked if I was o.k. There was no way to explain what was happening in my heart. I left as soon as I could and cried the whole way home.

My husband's heart was being cared for by the King of Heaven and that fountain was not only real, but it was cleansing my life, my marriage and my future.

When I eventually sang that song in church it was as if I could see the fountain and see the smiles of the King and His children and my children. I was pretty overjoyed to have Heaven fighting for me.