Chapter 6

Hope in the waiting

Coincidentally the very same night that the workshop started for Ryan, Paul Young, the author of "The Shack" was speaking at a nearby bookstore. I had a prayer group with some friends so we were super pumped to take our prayer group over to Barnes and Noble that night.

When we got there I was blown away by the simplicity of the author and how Jesus redeemed the author's marriage and his life. He told some amazing stories about Jesus and His redemptive power that night and it grew my faith while I was waiting for my own redemptive story to unfold. Afterwards, we stood in line and asked if in addition to signing our books, he would pray for Ryan that night. It was absolutely beautiful as several of us gathered on behalf of the Kingdom of Heaven and once again asked for a miracle for him and for our lives.

Such impeccable timing in our story.

That night the battle raged, so to speak and for the next few nights things seemed to only be getting worse. I tried to keep myself busy and not think about what would happen if this failed. What if nothing happened after the workshop, or worse yet, if Ryan hated the place and the people that had helped to bring me to the feet of Jesus. I tossed and turned and slept very little. What I did hear from Ryan was not hopeful and the emotions of it all beckoned to overwhelm me.

Then Sunday night came

Ryan had been there for 4 days now and I hadn't heard one good thing come from it. I wrestled in what felt like agony and great loss coming to the conclusion that hope was slipping from my grips.

I was wiping off a highchair in the church nursery when I got the phone call. I answered very hesitantly, unsure of what would come next. The workshop was over. What I heard next is a conversation that I will cherish forever.

It sounded like a person who had just been set free.

I heard joy, excitement and love and listened to stories about what miracles Jesus had done throughout the weekend. All the way home from church I listened. The sound of someone released to be themselves and to be who God created them to be is so melodious. He had learned that he was enough. That who he was, not fitting into any one particular mold, but just being Ryan was enough. He came home and for the next few weeks had different revelations about who he was and I could see big layers falling off of him and off of my heart towards him. I was able to see through to the heart of who he was and it was absolutely amazing. He was overjoyed at the thought of volunteering to help other people to get this freedom, too and weeks later he signed up and was now part of the "cult" that helped to set people free. Oh, but now he changed his mind on the cult idea realizing that people needed to meet Jesus face to face so desparately. Whether it was inside or outside of a church building, feeling the love of Jesus and caring for the children of Heaven was life-changing. Marriages were being restored, people were being set free from drugs, alcohol, life long illnesses, body pain, anger, rage and forgiveness was transforming lives, too. I watched him evolve into the man of my dreams as he prayed over people, blessed people and loved people that he had never met because he could see who they really were in the eyes of Jesus Christ. They were beautiful and so were we, Jesus was re-making this beautiful thing and we were living on the highs of what it felt like to be loved, accepted and forgiven. And let me tell you, that is a really great place to live.

Now for the rest of my family...